Platypus privacy policy:
this first paragraph below is for the fun and peculiar people, as it's paced appropriately. if you are a boring person (or a lawyer) you would prefer the pithy and perfectly perfunctorily version of our Platypus privacy policy so please proceed directly to the bottom portion, pronto.
hi cool people! since we’re the app with personality we proudly present to you a fun version of our legal page. and more importantly, we profoundly hope our plentiful Platypus pants are pleased with our app. wait. Platypus pants? typo. sorry. we meant Platypus fans not pants. Platypus pants would prove challenging due to the funky leg positioning of the 4 legged Platypus. impossible really. especially with skinny jeans. (pause for applause) let's try that again. we profoundly hope our plentiful Platypus fans are pleased with this preposterous legal portion. we deeply and personally appreciate your patience while we purposely complied with permissible privacy procedures and preset parameters and programs to expressly and purportedly prevent you from falling asleep prematurely by imparting a touch of inspirational and happy word play before we part ways at the end of this unprofessional paragraph. since we apparently and abruptly ran out of p words now, we profess profoundly this is the projected end of the Platypus app privacy policy. plus, we need to go pee. persistently. if information we have on you is incorrect, improper or incomplete, please email us an update and we shall promptly append it appropriately, comprehensively and passionately: ps: thank you!
now for the boring people: this privacy policy sets out how Platypus uses and protects any information you give us when you use this website. Platypus is committed to ensuring that your privacy is protected. should we ask you to provide certain information by which you can be identified when using this website, you can be assured it will only be used in accordance with this privacy statement. Platypus may change this policy from time to time by updating this page. you should check this page periodically to see any changes. what we collect: we may collect the following information: name • email address • demographic information such as city, country, age. what we do with the information we gather: we require this information to understand your needs and provide you with better service, and in particular for the following reasons: • internal record keeping. • to improve our products and services. • we may periodically send promotional emails about new products, special offers or other information we think you may find interesting, using the email address you provided. security: we are committed to securing your information. in order to prevent unauthorized access or disclosure, we put in place suitable physical, electronic and managerial procedures to safeguard and secure the information we collect. controlling your personal information: you may choose to restrict the collection or use of your personal information in the following ways: don't sign up for the Platypus app and don't provide any information to us. that's easy right? rest assured, we will not sell, distribute or lease your personal information to third parties unless we have your permission or are required by law to do so. we may use your personal information to send you promotional information about third parties we think you may find interesting but if that ever occurs that would only be sent via email and those emails would only come from us, never a third party.