Platypus.photo #41 (covid-19 edition)
sorry, planet earth is closed for maintenance. we’re working quickly and diligently and look forward to having you back for our grand re-opening. use coupon code “covid” and get 19% off your price of admission.
Platypus.photo #15 (covid-19 edition)
sister: so what’s that called again?
brother: it’s called the outside. before you were born i used to play out there.
sister: that’s cool. when can we go to this outside place?
brother. they said 2 weeks. then 2 months. then i stopped paying attention.
sister: i can’t wait. looks exciting out there.
Platypus.photo #33 (covid-19 edition)
nice and steady joey. easy does it. one more drop. if it works you’re a hero to billions of people around the globe. if it doesn’t work, you blow up the entire lab and a 4 block radius in a catastrophic fiery explosion.
Platypus.photo #46 (covid-19 edition)
david and denise were thrilled to finally get out of the house for 20 minutes for some fresh air and to stretch their legs. unfortunately, they got poison ivy, sunburned, locked out of the house then struck by lightning.
Platypus.photo #81 (covid-19 edition)
jerome’s boss was impressed with his focus and dedication in helping track, analyze and report on the coronavirus until he realized jerome was just playing a scientific playstation game the entire time.
Platypus.photo #56 (covid-19 edition)
this new non-contact food delivery system was going really well for me until this lady took her food, then stole my moped. i sure didn’t see that coming.
Platypus.photo #72 (covid-19 edition)
as daniel's boss stands behind him whispering intently: “thousands of people are dying every day, no pressure, take your time stanley. be very, very meticulous. but mostly, just be fast.”
Platypus.photo #38 (covid-19 edition)
stay home. stay safe. and definitely, definitely, stay away from anyone who has a big red line around them.
Platypus.photo #67 (covid-19 edition)
while most researchers in the world rush to find a cure for this devastating virus, a team of three stays committed and busy with their original task of trying to create the world’s best tasting vinaigrette dressing.
Platypus.photo #143 (covid-19 edition)
please stay home if you don’t require urgent medical attention. besides. we don’t have enough hospital beds, ventilators, masks or staff to care for you.
Platypus.photo #21 (covid-19 edition)
using the most world’s most sophisticated scientific equipment known to man, researchers across the globe all agree on one thing. they have no clue what to do next.
Platypus.photo #94 (covid-19 edition)
even if you live alone, the cdc recommends you wear a face mask at all times. we’re guessing it’s so you don’t give the virus to yourself. or your laptop.
Platypus.photo #22 (covid-19 edition)
hi kids! i know we said don’t worry about the virus then do worry about the virus then don’t wear face masks then do wear face masks but it’s only cause we can’t handle this mentally or medically so let the adults do what their best at: misinformation, procrastination and disorganization.
Platypus.photo #49 (covid-19 edition)
yes, thank you for putting that smiley face sign at the end of that sentence. it made me feel cozy, warm and fuzzy instead of frightened, fearful and deadly.
Platypus.photo #52 (covid-19 edition)
dave felt very safe and secure. long as he didn’t move, didn’t change his outfit, didn’t cough or sneeze and stayed 6 feet away from everyone, including himself.
Platypus.photo #19 (covid-19 edition)
mommy, i’m so bored sitting home all day! how long do i have to wait before i can go out and play with bats and snakes again?
Platypus.photo #88 (covid-19 edition)
hi neighbors! did you just move in?! what’s that?! you lived there 12 years?! and you for 7?! oh! nice to meet you both! i didn’t realize my apartment had a balcony! sounds dumb i know! if it makes you feel better, your balconies definitely look about 6 feet apart, so you’re good! no worries!
Platypus.photo #61 (covid-19 edition)
i charted out the projections of the market, factoring in the $2 trillion dollar relief bill, extended unemployment plus sba loans across america and look at this economic growth. it’s uplifting news. no pun intended. what? my chart is upside down? oh. shoot. that’s not as good then. never mind.
Platypus.photo #79 (covid-19 edition)
yes! my 20 year investment in hand sanitizer stock finally paid off.
Platypus.photo #148 (covid-19 edition)
and one day, there it was. like a gift from the gods. toilet paper. in stock. on the shelves. and in my cart.
this is the 4th happiest day in my entire life.